Anathenaeum-deactive

So, I was gonna chip into an ongoing conversation, then figured I may as well post this, so as not to interrupt.
I am not a massive fan of Season 6 all round. There were some classic episodes, Sam getting his soul back made me appreciate how great an actor Jared really is…Balthazar rocked, we had the meta ep…it was good, it just wasn’t brilliant-and since IMO Season 4 & 5 had kind of reached an awesome peak, I guess it would be hard to follow that right?
Anyway, I know there are lots of negative vibes about Season 6 and Dean and Cas in the show, and how their relationship was portrayed. Many points of which I agreed with (some still do). Having recently just re watched the season, I do feel that the show does a good job with them though. And the reason being because the WHOLE POINT was that they were meant to be drifting apart-going down separate paths whatever-and to that end, the show got that right.
I know we want it to be all happy rainbows, but the truth is, that’s not the direction the show took, so we have to then readjust our viewing accordingly.
Dean and Cas said goodbye in the Season 5 finale. Dean does not see Cas again until after he sees Sam, and even when he calls him-he’s not entirely sure Cas will come. Not 100%. And then he does come, and he’s all me and Dean do share a more profound bond, and Dean’s like huh. Really? Where the fuck have you been then?
And Cas is grumpy and stressed and not the angel he remembers, and even then Cas is like, what you think I came for you? I came for the weapon.
Almost straight away, they are at odds. Because both are pissed that the other didn’t call. Then Dean has his chat with his angel in private and Cas pours him a drink, and Dean tries to tell Cas, when Sam calls you answer-falling back on the way they were in Season 5, when Dean could have asked that and have Cas agree, but it comes out bullish, because Dean really isn’t sure he has sway with Cas any more, and then Cas is all dejected and jaded and its just…you can see, almost immediately, how a visit or two during that year apart could have helped either of them so much.
But now there are walls, and time is nothing to Cas really, even though he was a wave of celestial intent for longer than he appears to have wanted to be, so he is sort of at ease quicker, but for Dean time has passed, and he’s no longer the vessel and imagine being a human who angels wanted, who an angel fought beside…
Imagine being him, and that angel who picked your side in a battle between Heaven and Hell goes back to heaven when its done and you kinda thought you were friends, but then you never saw him again, and when you finally do, they are different, carry new responsibilities, and its all so urgh…
Then things sort of go back to how they were except not really because Cas is still there for them, but he is holding back, and looks like he has something to say every time you see each other, and you ask, but get nothing, so you think fuck it, and concentrate on fixing your brother, and get mad with said angel when he doesn’t seem as overwrought as you think he should be, because you think, we were a team, and now we’re not, and its shit.
Plus they do not agree on the Sam issue at all. This is a mjor deal for Dean. He needs Cas to be on his side because he is shit scared he is making the wrong decision, but really? Cas doesn’t have a soul. Dean is the only one who can say whether or not its worth the risk for his brother, because he has one. He knows what it means. Souls are sources of power for Angels, not essences of who you are like they are to people. And suddenly Cas is giving shit back to Dean about his brother. And Dean is lonelier than ever. Because Cas was supposed to get it.
Then there are other angels like Rachel and Balthazar being all bezzie mates with Cas and you are losing him, but maybe you never had him, and its all so taut, and half spoken, and Dean tries at one point, he tries to say we’re here Cas, if you need us, but Cas looks so lost, and something inside tells Dean it’s already too late but he’s in denial, and then the Titanic is re-sunk and Dean is all, Cas is still Cas, he still gives a fuck (although he sort of knew that, but last time Cas helped he kissed a demon so who the hell knows), but then its all rush and regret and secrets coming out.
Dean does show affection to Cas but its the taken for granted piss-taking kind and somewhere along the way he forgot to respect that Cas is an angel. An actual Angel. In fact he forgot to respect Cas full stop because he’s mad with him. Instead he gets petty and jealous over Cas’s new found status and is pissy about the angelic civil war because its what stopped Cas visiting. Its what took his friend away, its what Cas is secretive about. So Dean belittles its importance. It doesn’t occur to him it could be really fucking important, because he’d know right? Cas would have mentioned it. More than that first time they talked when Dean was weird and anxious. Cas would have talked to him again. Except he didn’t. And Dean knows its important now, but he’s still in denial. And he doesn’t want to call Cas, because he does feel like a nuisance, and Rachel kind of has a point but Dean wants his problems to matter to Cas because then HE matters to Cas. And Dean does not like that vulnerability at all.
And it’s heart breaking but actually a coherent evolution in many ways. (Not like my rambly crappy post).
And it boils down to that confrontation in the holy fire.
It all gets summed up so easily, in those lines that seem so obvious but say a million things more, not just about this, but about everything they don’t say to each other. That they never said to each other. Though Dean hints at it when they are alone, and when he gets his head out of his own ass for five minutes and admits he cares a bit more than he’d like people to realise. (“You’d call right?”) Though by then its all too freakin’ late…
And we have:
“Where were you when I needed to hear it?” Castiel
“I was there, where were you?” Dean
These two lines sum up all the reasons Dean and Cas (and therefore Destiel) seemed so distant, but in actual fact were pretty intense during Season 6.
They are literally saying to each-other-why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you want me anymore? Where the fuck were you when I needed you? I MISSED YOU. Right in front of Sam and Bobby. It was intimate, raw and honestly gut wrenching that it had to come to this for them to crack enough to let that out.
Oh my creys.
And that is why I have decided to have faith that the writers will do right by this pair. Okay they won’t end up in bed. But I think the depth of emotion between them will be at least acknowledged. I mean, it seems like Dean gives no fucks, but stoned!Dean’s first thought was, hey I don’t feel so shit about Cas any more. He is lost and sad and angry and everything stems from them not manning up and admitting they missed each other during that year-or admitting they regret not talking, or anything-to get past the resentment each harboured over the perceived abandonment by the other.
Sure they have a bit more to deal with now, but they will. They have to. Why bring Cas back if they don’t? I will accept nothing else.
And I know Dean was all sad about Lisa and Ben, and seemed to dismiss Cas, (in the hospital) but now, having their memories wiped (which makes no sense in so far as protecting them at all), is symbolic to me that Dean himself wanted that year wiped. That year that his brother was wandering around soulless, and his angel went and made a deal with the King of Hell; two people who meant everything to him were all fucked up and he just wishes it gone. Erased. But all that’s really been erased are the memories of him being okay by the people he was with when he perhaps thinks he should have been else where. And he’ mad at Sam and Cas and himself for that. Mostly Cas. Because in his heart, Cas should have known to come to him. If Cas felt like he did about their friendship…except that goes both ways and that’s why their situation is now so compelling! They both have very justifiable issues with the other (though Cas is a guilt stricken kitten) and for these to be resolved, means more Dean and Cas.
So in conclusion, whilst many feel that Destiel was ruined by Season 6, in retrospect, I feel it adds more depth to the pair, a shit ton more angst, and actual room for Dean to develop as a character who may actually TALK about his feelings eventually, and for Cas to learn that free will comes hand in hand with too much pride, humility, and that awkward ass concept of needing others sometimes-admitting weaknesses. You can’t have the perks of free will without the painful baggage of humanity that goes along with it. And Dean can’t have a pet angel, if he forgets to feed it. He’s had time to reflect on the difference between friend and pet now I imagine-I know Cas said they were his pets, but he was totally theirs. Totally. And he knows this, Dean’s lack of contact during that year confirms this to him, which is why the whole “we ‘re like family” is all so sad. A YEAR TOO LATE Dean. A year too late.
That’s all my feels. Sorry for rambly probably optimistic head canon analysis.